Showing posts with label Yahoo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yahoo. Show all posts

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Enjoying Music Is Deeply Rooted Within Brain Actitivity... Say What?

Don't let folks fool ya into thinking that you are supposed to like a band because everyone else already does. That is just brain washing. Ummm errr... wait a minute, maybe they are onto something and don't quite realize exactly what it is they are trying to sell you on. Read the article below and learn exactly why it is that certain pop music could be so damn über popular.

Link to post on yahoo
Diagram of the human brain from ISRC.edu

"Activity in certain regions of the brain can predict whether you'll like a new song enough to buy it, whether it's indie rock like Florence + The Machine's "Drumming Song" or experimental electronica like Ratatat's "Neckbrace."

Those are just two songs used in new research that explains how new music rewards the brain. The study found that the more active the nucleus accumbens (a small area deep in the brain), the more likely people are to shell out cash for new music. This willingness is especially strong when the nucleus accumbens interacts with a brain region that stores memories of old music.

The study helps explain how something as fleeting and intangible as a string of musical notes can be so rewarding, said study researcher Valorie Salimpoor, a doctoral student at McGill University in Canada. [Top 10 Mysteries of the Mind]

"It's all happening in your head. You have nothing to show for it," Salimpoor told LiveScience. "But somehow, because we have the cognitive resources to be able to process and appreciate these temporal sound patterns, we can experience really intense emotions from them."

The Draw Of New Music

Music seems a uniquely human phenomenon, and it appears across cultures. In fact, a study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in December 2012 found that even across vastly different cultures, people express primal emotions through music in strikingly similar ways.

Music is known to engage emotion-processing regions of the brain, and Salimpoor and her colleagues had previously found that music perceived as pleasurable triggers the release of dopamine in the brain, a neurochemical associated with feelings of reward. Food and sex, which are necessary for survival and reproduction, also trigger dopamine release.

That earlier study, published in the journal Nature Neuroscience, found that people didn't only receive jolts of dopamine at their favorite parts of a song; they got dopamine boosts right before, too. The finding suggested that anticipation is a major part of the pleasure derived from music, but it wasn't clear from where the anticipation was coming.

"Are you anticipating your favorite part because you know it's coming up, or is it the case that you have some general knowledge of music based on all your previous experiences?" Salimpoor said. To find out, Salimpoor and her colleagues recruited 126 participants and whittled them down to a group of 19 who had very similar tastes in music — they turned out to be lovers of electronica and indie tunes. The researchers used music-recommendation programs to find new songs these participants had never before heard, and then had them listen to those songs for the first time in a functional magnetic resonance imaging machine (fMRI). [Brain Mixtape: List of Songs Used in the Study]

Rewarding Notes

As the participants listened, researchers used the fMRI to track blood flow to various brain regions; this blood flow, in turn, is correlated with activity in those regions. After hearing a song clip, participants could choose to buy the tune with their own money, bidding to spend either 99 cents, $1.29 or $2, depending how much they'd liked it.

The researchers found a strong link between how much a person was willing to spend on a song and the nucleus accumbens, in that a busier nucleus accumbens was related to more willingness to drop some cash. This brain region is known to be associated with reward, particularly forming expectations of reward.

"It's really cool, because it's suggesting that as we're listening to new music, we're constantly making predictions," Salimpoor said. "This really links back to our previous study of anticipation and why it would play a role in music."

What's more, as people were willing to spend more money on a song, their nucleus accumbens showed greater co-activity with another brain region called the superior temporal gyrus. This is an auditory region that essentially stores sense memories of music heard in the past. If you've heard a lot of Western music, your superior temporal gyrus will have a different "library" than if you grew up listening to music from East Asia, for example.

The study suggests that when you hear new music, your brain flips through this library, building expectations from templates of music heard before. If those predictions are confirmed or pleasantly subverted, you may find yourself loving the new tune.

"We can look at music as an intellectual reward," Salimpoor said, adding, "It's essentially pattern recognition, and this is something humans are very good at."

Several other brain regions were also linked with finding music rewarding, including the emotion-processing amygdala and two higher-level emotion-processing regions found in the frontal lobe of the brain. Another frontal lobe region, the inferior frontal gyrus, was also linked to finding music pleasurable. This area handles advanced thought, working memory and pattern sequencing.

The fact that the brain recruits these advanced brain regions may explain why humans seem alone among animals in appreciating music, Salimpoor said.

"We're able to obtain pleasure from a sequence of sound that has no inherent reward in itself," she said.

The researchers report their findings Friday (April 12) in the journal Science."

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Kid Rock Offers $20 Tickets To All Seats?

"Normal $20 dollar seat location or maybe..."
Could big ticket show promoters really be on their last hoorah for getting more fans in seats? The economy has been really tough in a lot of areas and even though the summer concert season is fast approaching, big shows are pricey and folks will have to choose what they see based upon their back pocket. Thinking about going to some of the bigger tours, feels if you are paying for a family vacation, when all is said and done. Over priced beer, shitty food and a general gouging are what these corporate venues are known for. Oh yeah along with all the empty box seats that are way over priced. Maybe just maybe, ol' Kid Rock can make something happen with the $20 seat tour and shake things up a bit, time will tell.

Link to post on Yahoo Music

"At a time when most artists are raising the cost of concert tickets in order to combat the continuing lack of royalties from diminished album sales, Michigan-born rocker Kid Rock is sympathizing with his financially strapped fans and putting together a bill that will cost just $20 a ticket, anywhere in the venue.


On top of that, Rock and tour partner/concert promoter Live Nation is reducing service fees to $5 a ticket and making a concerted effort to lower the prices on goods available inside the venues, including beers ($4), concession deals, T-shirts ($20), and discount parking.

And Rock’s not going it alone. He’s bringing along a strong lineup of musically diverse support bands. ZZ Top will join in for 16 of the shows, Kool & The Gang will play 10, and Uncle Kracker will be on board for every gig. The tour is scheduled to launch June 20 in Bristow, Virginia, and run through September 15 in Tampa, Florida. There will be three concerts at Detroit, Michigan’s DTE Energy Music Theatre.

“Artists demand so much money, and you have to set ticket prices at [a certain level],” Rock told Billboard. “Everyone's fighting the system, and it's really been all of our faults. We're all fortunate to make as much money as we do, and I can surely take a pay cut and help out in these hard times.”

The first 20 rows of tickets will be paperless wherever possible, and each night, the first two rows of seats won’t be sold until right before the event. Some view Rock’s summer tour as act of charity; others see it more as a way to remain competitive in a crowded tour market.

“Realistically, Kid Rock couldn’t have expected to sell 20,000 tickets on his own at a normal ticket price,” says Pollstar editor Gary BonGiovanni. “This is clearly an effort to try to fill the places up. Everybody realizes the value of a $20 ticket in today’s market. If you’re talking about $25 out the door to go see Kid Rock, that’s a heck of a deal.”

BonGiovanni added that both Rock and Live Nation stand to make back on beer whatever they may lose on ticket sales. “ZZ Top are a fairly expensive act in their own right,” he said. “I imagine they’re gonna need to back up the beer trucks to the amphitheaters since the beers are $4.”"

Monday, October 22, 2012

Protest Equals Prison Camp, Pussy Riot Is Going Start A Chain Gang



Thinking about drawing a line in the sand for your beliefs? In the case of the ladies of the Russian punk act, Pussy Riot, those actions went against a government that is completely aligned with the powerful Orthodox church and ultimately Vladimir Putin. The repercussions will be felt within Russia for years to come, but hopefully this will not kill off the will to have a voice of reason and challenge the powers of authority. Politics and Religion are a swinging pendulum that always need to be kept in check in order to maintain balance.

This track goes out to the ladies of Pussy Riot.




Free Pussy Riot - photo from Associated Press via Yahoo
Link to article on Yahoo News

"MOSCOW (Reuters) - Two female members of Russian punk group Pussy Riot convicted of protesting against President Vladimir Putin in a cathedral have been sent to prisons far from Moscow despite requesting to serve out their terms in the capital, a lawyer said on Monday.

Maria Alyokhina, 24, and Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, 22, were convicted of "hooliganism motivated by religious hatred" in August and sentenced to two years in jail, a punishment that many in the West said was too harsh.

Their stunt - bursting into Moscow's main Russian Orthodox Cathedral to urge the Virgin Mary to rid Russia of Putin - infuriated the church and many Russians. But Kremlin critics said their trial was part of a crackdown on dissent orchestrated by Putin, who began a six-year presidential term in May. The two women lost their appeals on October 10.


The women's lawyers said they had tried to argue that they should be allowed to remain in jail in Moscow, saying it would have permitted them to be closer to their small children. They had also cited health and safety concerns at far-flung penal colonies.



Pussy Riot is heading to a Russian prison camp - photo from Associated Press
"They have been sent away," one of their lawyers, Mark Feigin, told Reuters, saying he did not know where the women had been dispatched. By law, relatives must be informed once a convict arrives at a prison, but the trip can take days.

One women's prison is about 100 km (60 miles) from Moscow, but most are much further away. Former collaborators in a street-art group said on Twitter that Tolokonnikova had been sent to Mordovia, about 500 km (300 miles) east of Moscow, and Alyokhina to the Perm region, near the Ural Mountains about 1,100 km (700 miles) east of the capital. That was not confirmed. The duo had been held in a Moscow detention center since their arrests in March. Western governments and musicians like Madonna had said their sentences were disproportionate, but Putin voiced support for the sentences, saying the state must protect the feelings of the faithful. The dominant Russian Orthodox Church has cast their protest as part of a concerted attack against the church and Russian traditions.


A third convicted member of Pussy Riot, Yekaterina Samutsevich, was released on appeal when a court suspended her sentence after her lawyer argued that she had been pulled away from the cathedral's altar before the protest song began.


(Reporting by Nastassia Astrasheuskaya; Editing by Steve Gutterman and Andrew Osborn)

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Legacy Of The Porsche 911

The legacy of Porsche lost one of its greatest innovators today in Ferdinand Alexander Porsche, who designed a legendary ride, in the Porsche 911. With a purity of vision in clean lines and rounded shapes, matched with a robust powertrain, the 911 would become iconic in the innovations in compared to the American auto market.


Ferdinand Alexander Porsche and his famous car design
For a rich kid kicked out of design school, Ferdinand Alexander Porsche created one of the greatest legacies in automotive design with the Porsche 911 — one that will survive far beyond Porsche's death today at the age of 76.

The son of company founder Ferry Porsche, F.A. or "Butzi" as he was known spent most of his career at his eponymous firm Porsche Design, where he oversaw the styling of thousands of products from watches to yachts, many with the tag "Designed by F.A. Porsche."

But it's the 911's emergence in 1964, when Butzi Porsche was just 25 years old, that made him a historic figure. While his father and grandfather had been famous German engineers — the original Ferdinand Porsche engineered the first Volkswagen Beetle — F.A. Porsche chose to study design. A year after enrolling in a prestigious school, Porsche was in his own words "kicked out," and took at job at his father's fledging car business in 1957.

At the time, Ferry Porsche had created the successful Porsche 356, but needed a follow-up model. He set the car's basic layout —a rear engine, a short wheelbase for agile handing — but pushed the designers and engineers to fashion a more sporting look than the men who built the Beetle had produced so far.

Porsche 911 GT3 Cup, photo by Nino Batista
Prowling the auto shows of Europe, F.A. Porsche formed an idea of how the car should look as a smooth, curving fastback, rejecting the flat angles popular in American cars of the era. "I just think you start creating edges when the body of a car is bad…they are lines that support something that ties the designer down," Porsche would say years later.

The new car's design spurred a dispute with the older designers in Ferry Porsche's shop, to such a degree Ferry went around them, taking his son's blueprints to the body fabricator. The first production-ready model, called the 901, appeared at the Frankfurt Auto Show in September 1964, and after Peugeot objected to the name, Porsche changed it to 911. Despite the timelessness of the 911's shape, F.A. Porsche believed his greatest design came a few years later, with the Porsche 904 race car.

When the company went public in 1971, the Porsche family withdrew from management roles — although F.A. Porsche would remain a presence on the company's board and in its design studios. "He established a design culture in our company that has shaped our sports cars to this very day," said Matthias Müller, President and Chief Executive Officer of Porsche AG. "His philosophy of good design is a legacy to us that we will honor for all time."

Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Most Awesome Music Videos of 2011 by Yahoo

After the horrible videos posted the other day, there are a few gems in this batch which are flat out amazing. Definitely scroll down to #3 which is by the Black Keys and #1 goes out to the Beastie Boys.


"While most music videos are merely slick, soulless promotional vehicles for potential hit singles, with no more substance or purpose than a Shamwow infomercial, occasionally a video comes out that transcends crass commercialism and actually stands alone as a work of visual art. Happily, quite a few such artworks hit TV screens and computer monitors for three or so minutes at a time this year, and when we added all those minutes together...well, we realized we spent much of 2011 enjoying some really awesome music videos.

So here, in ascending order of awesomeness, are our picks for the top 20 videos of the year.

20) Noel Gallagher - "AKA...What A Life"
This epic road movie stars ex-Oasis man Noel's real-life friend Russell Brand as some sort of wicked Wonderland mad hatter who lures a golden-haired lass into his dark lair and then forces her to go on a psychedelic trip. The casting is certainly ironic, considering the now-sober Mr. Perry's very well-documented past struggles with drug addiction. But certainly, this is the role Russell was born to play.

19) Stars - "We Don't Want Your Body"
This bizarre sweating-to-the-newies clip tells the musclebound love story of a male and female bodybuilder, who lip-synch to the song while pumping iron in the gym (while "Physical"-style, speedo-sheathed himbos strike poses in the background). And all along, the sexual tension, and hilarity, builds between them. The Vaseline-lensed video is a clear homage to the '80s fitness craze, when excited new VCR owners stocked up on cruddy jazzercise workout videos, Jamie Lee Curtis and John Travolta donned legwarmers and leotards for Perfect, and, yes, Olivia Newton-John cavorted with sweaty jocks in "Physical." It's sure to get your heart pumping, or at least make your abdominals ache from all your laughing.

18) Rihanna - "We Found Love"
Art imitates life, in the artiest way possible, in this gorgeously shot clip starring RiRi and a bleached-blonde actor who bears a disturbing resemblance to her ex, Chris Brown. The scene where Rihanna and the fake Chris fight in the car will haunt you for days, but you won't be able to look away.

17) Foo Fighters - "White Limo"
The Foos are known for making hilarious big-budget videos, but they actually outdid themselves with this cheapo clip. Apparently all of this video's budget was spent on getting Lemmy from Motorhead to play a starring role...but it was money very well spent.

16) Battles with Gary Numan - "My Machines"
Experimental rockers Battles teamed with electric friend Numan and the folks at the Creators Project--and the result is the singularly best chronicle of one man's attempt to scale a shopping-mall escalator ever committed to film.

15) tUnE-YarDs - "Bizness"
Like a classic Talking Heads video on steroids or a Keith Haring painting come to life, Merrill Garbus and company's "Bizness" is one of the most colorful, original, and joyous video sprees of 2011. We dare you not to smile, or even scream like a giddy banshee, when watching this.

14) Matt and Kim - "Cameras"
This bizarre but compulsively watchable clip depicts the usually lovey-dovey Matt and Kim, who are a couple in real life, beating each other to bloody pulps during a rehearsal gone very, very awry--with musical instruments, mic stands, drum stools, cartons of Chinese takeout, fists, and droplets of (hopefully fake) blood flying in all directions. Considering the duo's behind-the-scenes personal relationship, the domestic-violence overtones of the video would be a bit unsettling if a) we didn't know that Matt and Kim underwent stunt training before the shoot, b) Kim fights just as down 'n' dirty as her male counterpart here, and c) the song wasn't just so darn cute.

13) Breakbot - "Fantasy"
This video by 30-year-old French producer/DJ Breakbot (real name: Thibaut Berland) depicts an art class full of worked-up male students who just can't seem to concentrate on their canvases once their subject, a brunette beauty, drops her trenchcoat and strikes an unclothed pose. Then one particularly creative, and particularly distracted, pupil starts fantasizing about the model...and it all culminates in an "A-ha moment," so to speak. This one's a real work of art.

12) Cee Lo Green - "Cry Baby"
This Broadway-style romp stars Jaleel White--aka Urkel from "Family Matters," all grown up--hoofing and lip-synching up a storm. Come to think of it, with credentials like that, maybe this video should be higher up on this list...

11) Best Coast - "Crazy For You"
One of 2011's finest meshing of the feline minds comes from Los Angeles indie-pop band Best Coast, who thrillingly teamed with the LOLcats over at icanhascheezburger.com for this caption-tastic tour de force. I can has great music video? Yes, you can, Best Coast. We still can't stop LOLing over this.

10) Beastie Boys - "Make Some Noise"
Videos vanguards the Beasties added two more amazing clips to their videography this year, starting with this VMA-nominated allstar short film. Starring actors Elijah Wood, Danny McBride, and Seth Rogen as the Beasties circa 1987 (along with cameos by Will Ferrell, Jack Black, John C. Reilly, Ted Danson, Rashida Jones, Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Schwartzman, Rainn Wilson, Steve Buscemi, Chloe Sevigny, Kirsten Dunst, Maya Rudolph, Malin Akerman, and Orlando Bloom), this is the prequel to "Fight For Your Right (To Party)" that we'd always dreamed of.

9) Manchester Orchestra - "Simple Math"
Detailing a horrific car accident and the "life flashing before your eyes" phenomenon that the driver experiences during the harrowing slow-mo crash, this is certainly one of the most unique and haunting videos of the year. It requires multiple viewings to fully grasp, but it will take only one viewing to stick with you forever.

8) OK Go - "Muppet Show Theme"
OK Go have landed places on multiple year-end video lists, and have starred in landmark videos with dogs, treadmills, and marching bands. But in this video, they star with Muppets. 'Nuff said. It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights. Watch it now.

7) Radiohead - "Lotus Flower"
This bizarre clip consists of little more than Thom Yorke going bonkers in black-and-white, thrashing about a barren warehouse in what appears to be a totally improvised, totally unhinged modern dance. It's an incredibly simple concept...and it's incredibly awesome, better than most big-budget videos out there. Who knew Thom had such awesome moves? He truly is the king of (flailing) limbs. And even better than this video? All the hilarious parodies that flooded YouTube within hours of its release.

6) Pink - "F***in Perfect"
This video is controversial, as its troubled main character deals with schoolyard bullies, mean girls, unsympathetic teachers, controlling parents, anorexia, shoplifting, and, in the clip's most unsettling (and, be warned, bloodiest) scene, cutting--all in her attempts to find herself and finally feel that she's "perfect." But the video's surprise ending should bolster the confidence of many self-doubting viewers who can relate to the girl's story. This video is pretty much perfect, and so very timely in a year when the problem of bullying has been in the spotlight. Just try not to get teary-eyed by the end.

5) Duran Duran - "Girl Panic"
There was a time, back in the hallowed 1980s, when supermodels were superstars, practically on the same A-list level as the pop singers who recruited them for their bombastic music videos. And in this nine-and-a-half-minute mini-movie, the "Supers" are back in the gauze-lensed spotlight, recapturing all the celluloid glamour of THE ultimate '80s band's heyday. Starring Naomi Campbell as frontman Simon Le Bon, Cindy Crawford as bassist John Taylor, Helena Christensen as drummer Roger Taylor, and Eva Herzigova as keyboardist Nick Rhodes, along with Simon's own real-life model wife Yasmin, this video perfectly epitomizes the glamour and excess of Duran's champagne-swilling, yacht-hopping glory days.

4) Ke$ha - "Blow"
We thought it was awesome enough when Ke$ha engaged in drag-queen chainsaw battles and romped with white tigers in the unofficial "Ke$ha 'n' Friends" day-glo version of her "Take It Off" video last year. But that was nuthin' compared to "Blow," in which the party girl makes out with unicorns (maybe the best use of the white-unicorn motif in a music video since Muse's "Knights Of Cydonia") AND spars with James Van Der Beek in a lazer-rainbow gunfight to end all lazer-rainbow gunfights. Because hey, if there's anything more awesome than a drag-queen chainsaw war, it's a Dawson rainbow war. Right?

3) The Black Keys - "Howlin' For You"
A grindhouse trailer of which Quentin Tarantino or Ed Wood themselves would be proud, the howlingly funny "Howlin' For You" stars Maxim Hot 100 actress Tricia Helfer as Alexa Wolff, "a sexy assassin with a troubled past" according IMDB.com, who leaves "a trail of bloody corpses and broken hearts in her wake" as she avenges her father's murder. Along that trail, she meets "Diff'rent Strokes" icon Todd Bridges (perfectly cast as a sassy, lecherous priest), snowboarder Shaun White (one of Alexa's many conquests/victims), and actors Sean Patrick Flanery and Corbin Bernsen. Pass the popcorn and enjoy a screening of this instant cult classic now.

2) Katy Perry - "Last Friday Night"
The greatest John Hughes movie never made, this totally awesome eight-minute teen flick stars Katy--or more specifically, "Kathy Beth Terry," her orthodontically challenged, heavily mouth-breathing geek-girl alter ego--along with "Glee's" Kevin McHale as the knight in Medieval Times armor of her nerdy dreams, and Kevin's "Glee" castmate Darren Criss as the big man on campus (the role Emilio Estevez probably would've landed if this video had actually been filmed in 1985). But that is just the beginning of all the teenage dreaminess. Former tween heartthrobs Hanson also make a cameo as the band playing at Kathy's outta-control house party, '80s teen sensations Corey Feldman and Debbie Gibson portray her hard-partyin' parents, and Rebecca Black plays Kathy's cool (yes, cool) BFF. And then, as a little something for older viewers, the original sexy sax man, Kenny G, stars as..."Uncle Kenny." And yes, he's got his saxophone with him. Seriously, all that's missing here is Jake Ryan driving up in a red sports car at the end.

1) Beastie Boys - "Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win"
What's cooler than Beastie Boys? Beastie dolls! Spike Jonze, the genius director behind classic Beastie vids like "Sabotage" and "Sure Shot," reteamed with the trio and cast a bunch of plastic action figures in the most action-packed video of 2011. In a year when the Beasties landed on the list of new Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame inductees, it was also great to see them land on this list twice."

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Most Epically Awful Videos of 2011 From Yahoo

This list of songs and videos are beyond bad. They are to the point of watching the stupid criminals on TruTV yet we still viewing them as if they will get any better at some point. When will reality set for many folks out there to realize that to be a "famous" musician you actually have to be good at your craft.

Thankfully we get to work with real musicians and these hacks aren't destroying are inbox looking for a deal of some sort.


Check out the videos below and try to have fun, fun, fun, fun...but you have been warned. They're BAD. Clockwork Orange-style eyeball-cufflinks are recommended to help you get through all 10 clips.

10) Countess LuAnn - "Chic C'est La Vie"
Following up the viral success of "Money Can't Buy You Class," this Real Housewife of New York once again proved that money can't buy you a decent song or music video, either. And all the money in NYC apparently still couldn't buy enough AutoTune to render this lady listenable.

9) George Michael - "True Faith"
George Michael and New Order were two of the great British pop acts of the 1980s. So news that George would be releasing a cover of the New Order dance smash "True Faith" to benefit Comic Relief 2011 seemed like an exciting development...except for the sad fact that George's Comic Relief effort turned out to be, well, comically bad. We're not sure what was worse about it: the fact that he slowed down New Order's BPM by about 97 percent, that he saturated his robotic recording with enough AutoTune to make even Countess LuAnn balk, or that the entire video took place in the clouds so that it resembled an outtake from Eddie Murphy's box-office flop Holy Man or a Philly Cream Cheese commercial. Regardless, this abysmal video was enough to make us lose faith in British pop music altogether.

8) Emii - "Stilettos"
With this video, Gaga wannabe Emii sent all potential boyfriends a clear message: love her, love her stilettos. Fair enough. But love this video and song? Well, that was asking way too much. This really is a video probably only Imelda Marcos could love.

7) Inessa Lee - "Take Me To The Moon"
"American Idol" fans may recognize Inessa as the Ukrainian auditioner from Season 10 whom Steven Tyler lasciviously called a "little spitfire." But it seems Inessa prefers to be known as a "singing doll," according to her delusionally entertaining website. "Her emerald green eyes attract you. Her angelic voice makes you shiver...Her name is Inessa, and her music style is pop electronic, with a resemblance to Shakira, Ke$ha, and Kylie Minogue. Inessa is a singing doll: Innocent and sexy at the same time," reads her wildly hyperbolic bio. "Singing doll Inessa is a complete package: In addition to her exceptional beauty and talents, she is a singer and songwriter. The world has been waiting for her!" Honestly, she could have kept the world waiting a lot longer. This is not good.

6) Kalup & Franco - "Rising"
In between sleepwalking his way through his Oscars hosting gig or guesting on "General Hospital," James Franco somehow found time to start a psychedelic band, Kalup & Franco, with Brooklyn-based performance artist/drag aficionado Kalup Linzy. Their resulting music video looked like something that was shot on "General Hospital" set...in 1977. With a Fisher-Price camera. That was then played on a secondhand Betamax VCR. It was assumed by many viewers that the new-agey, public-access-TV visuals behind His Highness's video were purposely created to look cheap and cruddy...but you know, we're not so sure. A better explanation? It's possible that whatever James was suspected of smoking when he hosted the 2011 Academy Awards was also in this video's director's pipe when this confounding clip was shot.

5) Tonje Langeteig - "I Don't Wanna Be A Crappy Housewife"
While we appreciate this Norwegian pop wannabe's independent spirit, we're not exactly sure a video like this was what Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, or even Helen Reddy had in mind when they crusaded for women's equality. Tonje merely demonstrated here that women are just as likely to make a terrible music video as men, and just as untalented as their YouTube brethren. And really, we don't think she needs to be worried about becoming a crappy housewife, because this video is embarrassing enough to scare away marriage-minded potential suitors well into the new year.

4) Rebecca Black - "Friday"
"Friday" made aspiring tween-pop starlet Rebecca an overnight sensation, earning her millions of YouTube views and instant Internet meme status. She's so popular now, in fact, that many people forget the REASON this video racked up so many clicks in the first place was its epic awfulness, the can't-look-away trainwreckiness of the whole affair. The oddly unironic video raised many fascinating questions in 2011, such as: Who is this girl? How did she get a record deal? Why is she sitting at a bus stop, if her friends are picking her up in their car? Why is she so indecisive about whether to sit in the front or back seat? If the girl standing to her right is her friend, then is that girl on her left her frenemy? Did the general public REALLY need to be informed that Thursday comes before Friday, or that Sunday comes after Saturday? And, most importantly: Is this a real thing? We're still not sure if all these questions ever got fully answered--but Rebecca's very real career is, bizarrely, going strong now, so perhaps we will find out in 2012 when she actually puts out a full album. Sadly, 2012 will probably also be a year filled with terrible viral videos by wannabes hoping to replicate Rebecca's runaway success.

3) Money Boy - "Gucci und Prada"
This Austrian MC's cover of "Get My Swag On" by Soulja Boy, "Dreh den Swag Auf," landed on many 2010 worst-of lists. And "Gucci und Prada" carried on that tradition this year by sampling, for even less swagginess, Rupert Holmes's "The Piña Colada Song." We'd assume that Austria holds its rappers to a much, much lower standard, except that Money Boy is apparently just as hated in his native land as he is in the rest of world. And the only way anyone, in any country, could possibly enjoy this video would be if they tossed back about twelve piña coladas.

2) Popstar Trishii - "Kiss Kiss"
The rather incorrectly named "Popstar" Trishii has, under the name Trisha Paytas, appeared on such reality shows as MTV's "My Strange Addiction" (she is hooked on tanning, which will soon be obvious if you watch the video below) and the Sci-Fi Channel's "Who Wants To Be A Superhero?" (her crime-fighting alter ego was named Ms. Limelight). And speaking of crime...Trishii's bargain-budget video for "Kiss Kiss" was a crime against music, against taste, and against the eyes of anyone unfortunate enough to see it in 2011. Imagine if Snooki mated with an Oompa Loompa, and then the Snooki-Loompa spawn hired Heidi Montag's producer to record her single, and you get an idea of the utter atrociousness of "Kiss Kiss." Not even the Ark Music Factory execs could get behind this.

1) Alternate Reality - "The King That Never Was"
Do not attempt to adjust your computer monitor. Do not assume that the video you are about to see is the result of some egg-nog-induced fog. Deluded Cleveland metal band Alternate Reality really did shoot an ambitious video about, according to lead singer Steve Delchin, "the legend of King Arthur and his quest for the Kingdom of Metal." The result is a video not even the most diehard Dungeons & Dragons enthusiast or Comic-Con season-pass-holder could appreciate or sit through more than once. Actually, if this video were intended to be ironic, we would say it was the most genius video of all time. Ditto if it were a video by Spinal Tap, Tenacious D, or Bill & Ted's Wyld Stallyns. But sadly, it seems like these not-so-shining-armored guys' tongues were nowhere near the vicinity of their cheeks when they filmed this video atrocity. Apparently they really do live in an alternate reality in which dressing up like Mickey Mouse from Fantasia and engaging in Camelot swordfights is the epitome of cool. Obviously, this is not a reality in which any sane person would choose to live.